Sheesh-a

I have never considered myself to be a smoker. That is not to say that I have never smoked in my life, but that I have never found myself to be addicted to the habit of smoking.

There was a time when I used smoking as a social tool, mostly in my first year of University. It was a good conversation starter, having a chat over a smoke. It was a good reason to hang out with the girls in res and get to know them as we sat outside the front door, sucking on our cancer sticks and reliving our weekends. Hell, I even met Grant because of smoking. Our first conversation went something along the lines of:

"Lara."
"Puffy."
"Can I bum a smoke?"

And six and a half years on, we are still going strong without the help of cigarettes. Of course, it took awhile for us to get there. Even after I "quit" smoking (ie. quit bumming smokes off girls in res), Grant carried on for a good two years and I was surrounded by second hand smoke. Which makes it even easier for me to say that I was never a smoker, because it was easy for me to "quit". I still had the occasional cigarette, and there are still times when I am tempted to ask a friend for a drag even to this day, but I am able to keep back the temptation without too much effort.

You see, while I have never been a smoker, I have a funny feeling that I could easily become one if I let myself. All it would take it giving in at a point when I am too stressed, when I am practically over the edge. All it would take is one little cigarette, one little drag, to push me. And I am trying very hard to avoid that. So instead of becoming a smoker, instead of taking a drag of a cigarette when I feel that need, I have taken to another stress-reliever. And that is hubbly.

And yes, it does sound like a bit of a contradiction, doesn't it? I don't consider myself a smoker, but I am happy to smoke hubbly. Do I think that it is any better for me? Probably not. Do I think that it is less addictive? Absolutely. You see, while smokers often smoke a number of cigarettes in a day (a pack or more for the serious ones), I smoke perhaps three hubblies in a week. And that would be a very stressful week for me to smoke that much. I can go weeks or months without smoking a hubbly, and feel in no way addicted to it. In fact, I do not think that it is the smoking itself that draws me in. It is the preparation that goes into it.

Smoking a hubbly is not a five minute affair. It is not just a case of lighting up, powering through and throwing away a stump at the end. It is a methodical procedure, from filling the vase to choosing the flavour, from poking holes in the foil to lighting the coal. Even once it is ready and the smoking has begun, it is not the smoking that draws me. It is, once again, the social nature of smoking a hubbly. It is a far more social activity than smoking ever was for me. Instead of rushing through the latest news in the span of a cigarette, you sit around, you chat, you soak in the atmosphere, you take turns, you share. Once it is over, you methodically take it apart, from letting the coal burn out to clearing out the tobacco, rinsing the vase and setting it aside for the next time.

And so, I will say it again. I do not consider myself to be a smoker. A hubbly smoker, perhaps, but I see that to be a different brand of person altogether, and a brand of person that I am happy to associate myself with.