Goodbyes

If I had to name only one that I hate about Grahamstown, it would be an easy task. It is that people are always coming and going. Grahamstown is an inbetween town, and I have had more than my fair share of goodbyes. So, what I suppose it boils down to is hating to say goodbyes.

I had to say goodbye to all of my friends back in 2009 when I decided to leave Grahamstown, and was on the leaving end. That was ridiculously rough. I remember nights of celebrating the time that we had together, but more than anything I remember leaving the house on African Street, tears streaming down my face because I had just had to say goodbye to Grant, for what we expected to be the last time, and having to drive the 10 hours to Cape Town unable to listen to my radio because every song that came up reminded me of him.

Then I had to say goodbye to my parents and Cape Town friends as I left for Korea, though that was never intended to be a permanent move, and was not a goodbye for good. Still, the image of my mother waving goodbye to me through the crowds is not an easy one to forget.

Then, after a friend or two leaving during my time in Korea, I had to leave all of the friends that I had made behind, not knowing when I would see any of them again. The weekend before my departure, I shed more tears than I am willing to admit, but every drop was worth the friendships that had been forged. I still get a little teary eyed when I look at the last photo of Amy and I ever to be taken, a polaroid that I keep in my wallet. You can tell from both of our red eyes just how much it hurt to be saying goodbye.

And then, after all of these heartfelt goodbyes, I ended up back in little old Grahamstown where people are constantly coming and going, entering and leaving your life. And most of the time, for most of the people, it leaves no impact. But then, there are the people who make it worthwhile, who make you want to stay around, who can convince you to leave the comfort of your bed even if it is just for one drink, who are willing to stay in bed with you if you can't be convinced, who are happy to do nothing in each others company and who are always there with a kind word, even if you don't think that you need it. And tonight, I have had to say goodbye to one of those people.

So yes, I am more than a little emotional at the moment and a little resentful towards Grahamstown because without it, I wouldn't have had the chance to meet half of the awesome people that I have met in my life, but I would also be without the pain of having to say goodbye to those people while one or both of us forge our own ways in the world.

There are more goodbyes to come over the next few weeks, but I don't think any of them will pull at my heartstrings quite as much as having to say goodbye to Kath. We will always have Kenton!!