More than just a burger

Candy-floss-pink and white flamingos, a pale-pink piano and top hats in every colour imaginable (including more pink, of course) greet us on entrance into Beefcakes.

“Table for two, please.”

“Take your pick.”

I look around the empty fifties-style diner, hidden amongst the tirade of buildings on Green Point's Main road, taking in the bar complete with stripper figurine, the staircase leading down to the club below and all of the empty light grey couches. I pick one for the two of us to sit at. On Saturday it had almost been impossible to find a seat, but in the middle of the week we have our run of the place, being the only customers and all. On one hand it's a bad thing – who wants to come to an empty restaurant? On the other, I know what it was like being the only straight girl in a bar full of gay guys, and it can be a little overwhelming. Beefcakes doesn't only refer to the burgers, after all.

We hardly have time to take in the disco-balls that cover the ceiling before our waiter sidles over.

“Good afternoon,” he gushes, filled with the kind of enthusiasm that made me feel exhausted. “I'm Dwayne. Can I get you a drink?”

I consider getting myself a watermelon Cosmo, remembering how good it tasted the last time, but reminding myself that A. it is the middle of the day and B. I might be driving home, I opt out.

“Just a Coke, please.”

He sidles on back to the bar and we take the chance to scan our menus and decide on something to eat. What will it be today? I flick past the 'Bugger the Burger' section and look at the burger selections. What about a 'Buffy the Hamburger Slayer'? 'Chilli on the Willy'? Maybe a 'Beach Boy Burger' will hit the spot. Eventually I decide on the 'Greek God' burger, but now I have to decide on what kind of meat I want – each of the burgers can come with a beef, chicken, lamb or ostrich patty. By the time Dwayne has returned, I have decided on the recommended lamb (realising that it will go best with the tzatziki on the burger), a combination of salad and fries on the side. I sit back to relax with my ice cold Coke in it's truly diner-style glass and a fresh breeze from the open window rustles my hair – the perfect way to spend a sunny day while still being indoors.

As we wait for our burgers to arrive, we let our eyes wander, taking in everything from the decorations to the wallpaper to the rest of the menu.

“Look at this dessert,” Mike announces, pointing out the Strawberry Seduction – strawberries with a combination of vodka, black pepper and cream to dip them in.

“Vodka and black pepper?” If I could have raised a single eyebrow, I would have. “And anyway, I doubt we'll have room for dessert.”

“I think it'd be divine. And I always leave room for dessert,” he says with the air of a food critic, “even if it means not finishing my main.”

We're interrupted as Dwayne bustles back over with our burgers in hand and places mine in front of me. The smell of garlic fills my nostrils and I involuntarily lick my lips before digging in. I carefully watch Mike as he does the same and, as his eye meets mine, I know we are both thinking the same thing.

“It was a goner from the first bite,” I say minutes later, looking longingly at my empty plate and wishing there was more. Not that there's any room for it, of course, but I could always find space for a meal like that! Mike nods his head in agreement, his earlier idea of not finishing his main forfeited as his plate is as clean as my own.

But that won't stop us from sharing a dessert. It won't be the strawberries, sadly, as now is no time for vodka. We opt for the chocolate brownie instead, at Dwayne's suggestion. When it arrives, Mike can hardly wait to dig in, and just about does as I snap some shots. Once I join him, it's gone within seconds.

As Mike pays the bill, I take a final look around, capturing some more of the decorations on my digital film, and then it's time to go. With one final look at the original-esque Coca Cola poster on the wall, we are out.

“Take a shot of the building,” Mike insists. “Just to remember.”

I catch Dwayne grinning in the distance as I snap the final shot.

I don't need to take the shot to remember. I'm sure I will be back all too soon.